Life is hard
This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.
More humor quotes
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I love mankind... it's people I can't stand.
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Today I will be as useful as a 'g' in lasagna.